Donald Trump - perhaps reading out his own poem

An ode to Donald Trump

posted in: Poetry | 1

Let me introduce myself,

You’ll know my name – Trump, Donald J.

I am a man in perfect health,

And this is what I have to say.

 

My job is US president,

I use fake tan and great shampoos.

Yet half of those I represent

Want me impeached – but it’s FAKE NEWS.

 

I am a stable genius,

My handshake proves that I’m real strong.

Wake up, Dems, so you can see us

Sing my all-time-favourite song:

 

MAGA, MAGA, Cofveve,

Trust in every word I say.

Bornstein says that I’m not mad,

And if you don’t agree, you’re SAD!

 

Now all of what I say is true

I am, like, very smart as well.

And winning’s what I like to do,

In fact, I’m up for a Nobel.

 

My hands are of a normal size,

And racist?  I’m among the least.

I live on Diet Coke and fries,

Plus steaks (my own) – a healthy feast!

 

I am a little self-obsessed,

But I do not have orange skin.

You want some words? I have the best!

And here they are.  Let’s all join in:

 

MAGA, MAGA, Cofveve,

Trust in every word I say.

Bornstein says that I’m not mad,

And if you don’t agree, you’re SAD!

 

So Hillary must now admit

I won the White House, fair and square.

She’s crooked, and a hypocrite –

But now I wish she had my chair.

 

‘Cause Robert Mueller’s on my track,

He knows that I’m, like, really rich.

And he has started his attack

To hunt me down – just like a witch.

 

He claims that I’ve been talking to

Some Russians, which is news to me.

He’s doing a complete review,

So here comes chorus number three:

 

MAGA, MAGA, Cofveve,

Trust in every word I say.

Bornstein says that I’m not mad,

And if you don’t agree, you’re SAD!

 

But what he doesn’t understand

Is NO COLLUSION!  I’m the pres!

But maybe, on the other hand,

There is some truth in what he says.

 

I think I’ll do my normal thing

Which is to spin, distract, and tweet.

It’s working – I am still the king

Of being bigly indiscreet.

 

So things are looking really great,

I think I’ll start a new cold war.

It’s up to me, there’s no debate,

And now for chorus number four!

 

MAGA, MAGA, Cofveve,

Trust in every word I say.

Bornstein says that I’m not mad,

And if you don’t agree, you’re SAD!

 

Now here is Comey chipping in,

(I fired him; he’s really tall).

His book is in the White House bin.

I don’t have time to read it all.

 

So why is he now on my case?

I thought I’d seen the last of him.

Despite my happy, handsome face,

I know that things are looking grim.

 

And something wicked this way comes:

It’s Stormy Daniels – what a cow!

I’ll say that Cohen did my sums.

Distraction!  Altogether now:

 

MAGA, MAGA, Cofveve,

Trust in every word I say.

Bornstein says that I’m not mad,

And if you don’t agree, you’re SAD!

 

I have had a great idea –

I’ll get Rudy on my side!

Spouting verbal diarrhoea

He’ll distract, and I’ll preside.

 

And once I’ve dealt with climate change –

Which we all know is a HOAX,

I think that I will rearrange

My cabinet, with more white folks.

 

Then down to Palm Beach I will fly,

To play a round of golf or two.

Next, I’ll remove my long red tie,

And sing again my song to you:

 

MAGA, MAGA, Cofveve,

Trust in every word I say.

Bornstein says that I’m not mad,

And if you don’t agree, you’re SAD!

 

I love women, they love me,

And I have studied them A LOT.

So what’s my secret?  Here’s the key –

I grab ‘em by the you-know-what.

 

But do I have a weakness?  Yes –

This love of ladies.  They are great!

And I can’t help it.  I confess

That sometimes I don’t even wait.

 

But I won’t quit without a fight,

I’ll dig in to the end of time.

Democrats – you know I’m right

So join me while I sing this rhyme:

 

MAGA, MAGA, Cofveve,

Trust in every word I say.

Bornstein says that I’m not mad,

And if you don’t agree, you’re SAD!

 

Despite my plan to drain the swamp,

Sometime soon the world will see

The FAKE NEWS tapes of my nude romp,

Including non-existent pee.

 

But worse than having, once again,

Exposure of my wiener,

Is the day, not long away, when

I’ll get a subpoena.

 

Then my number will be up, and

I’ll have things to answer for.

Someone else will take command

And we can all be great once more!

 

MAGA, MAGA, Cofveve,

Trust in every word I say.

Bornstein says that I’m not mad,

And if you don’t agree, you’re SAD!

Follow Matt:

Dad of girls, lover of music, frustrated sportsman, writer. I like to think I'm pretty hip, but my kids disagree. I have had two hip replacements though!

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One Response

  1. Keri
    | Reply

    Very good. 👍

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