I was very moved by the story of Dominic Cummings in the news yesterday, following his father’s instinct as he did.
So I wrote a poem.
Dear people of the great United K,
It’s well past time for me have my say.
So here’s the truth – believe it if you can.
I am an honest, reasonable man.
–
You know that I don’t like to wear a suit,
I shun the limelight, and I’m not hirsute.
This speech is very hard for me to make,
But here I go, for all of Britain’s sake.
–
My son was home, we needed help with him,
But chance of any local aid was slim.
So I resolved that we up north would go,
We drove non-stop and kept our heads down low.
–
We isolated then in Durham town,
Observing EVERY rule of locking down.
We definitely didn’t go outside,
And anyone who says we did has lied!
–
I then became quite ill and stayed in bed,
Until I felt recovered in the head.
But one symptom remained, to my surprise –
I had a little problem with my eyes!
–
I otherwise felt ready to go out,
But driving back down south was now in doubt.
I thought I’d check my vision was all right
By visiting a famous tourist site.
–
We loaded up and drove that very day
To Barnard Castle, thirty miles away.
By pure coincidence, that day it was –
The birthday of my wife! What are the odds?
–
My eyes were fine, so we were good to go,
We came back home to London, as you know.
I went once more to work at number ten,
And did NOT take the M1 north again.
–
Well, now you know that my philosophy
Is that the same rules do apply to me!
My motto, let me say right now to you
Is this: ‘Do as I say, AND as I do’.
–
So that’s the truth, we’ll let the matter rest.
I only did my father’s-duty best.
Forget about my epic all-night drives,
Let’s stay alert! – and get back to our lives.
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